When I say we need to get our “shoulds” together I am referring to nagging expectations that are based in fiction, but affect our impression of reality. Our anxious minds tell us stories about the way things “should” be, and it’s really easy to start grading your life against these fantasies. We imagine the mountain tops we would currently reside on if only that one factor had been different. The fact that we can’t change the past or know the future takes a back seat to the overwhelming distraction of the “shoulds”.
In order to keep the “shoulds” from fictionalizing the past or the future, it’s important to maintain a bit of a “shoulds” sounding board. These questions help me keep my “shoulds” together: